Monday, May 26, 2008

Having a bit of anxiety

Have you ever had a moment in time when you see your own death? I know that sounds funny or odd or crazy or whatever, but I honestly will be doing something and suddenly it will pop in my head that this could be what I'm doing when I die and how sadly funny it would be. Then after the initial thought of I could die like this I will start to think about how it would look when they talked about my death on the news, because generally when I have weird thoughts of dying it's in really weird ways that I know would totally be news worthy. For example...

Shannon was a medical transcriptionist. At the time of her death she was
sitting working at her computer like the model employee she was reported to be,
when her home was struck by a freak bolt of lightening that traveled through the
phone lines and struck her head phones. When found by paramedics her her fingers
were melted to her keyboard and her hair was smoking.
See what I mean? If you can't tell we're having a storm right now and lightening and thunder is cracking all around, well not right around us, but close enough to see and hear. But my fantasy doesn't even have to be something dangerous like lightening, it can be something as mundane as washing dishes or doing laundry, all of a sudden I'll get a thought about some glass shattering while I'm washing it out and a shard stabbing me in the eyeball or something. Aren't I the most morbid person?

Now don't get me wrong, these are not the ramblings of a suicidal person with major anxiety disorder, just a person with too much imagination and a flare for the morbid. I also like to fantasize about lots of people knowing my name, hence the whole my name on the news thing, of course it would probably be a nicer fantasy if I was on the news for saving puppies or a bunch of kids from rampaging bulls or something.
Just to let you know I'm an equal opportunity weird thinker, I also have this strange thought when I'm parked at a stoplight waiting for it to turn green and I'm parked next to someone, I often think about how funny it would be to roll my window down and spit my gum at the car next to me just to see what they would do when my gum hit their window. Would they yell at me or would they just sit there and watch me laugh hysterically before I drove off in a cloud of dust? Yeah I'm a freak.

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